Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
