she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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