the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
