Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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