when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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