I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
