you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
