Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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