I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i think i have two assholes
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
