4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
