I don't think brook has ever known best
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
