what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
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drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
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it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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