Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
