i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
