just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
