So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Randomize