how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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