it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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