Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
