Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
