I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
