Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize