i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Your cock deserves a montage
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
