can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
