After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
