we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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