so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Randomize
