why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
