idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize
