the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
