If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
