Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
