today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
