Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
