She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
