i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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