I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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