Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
