I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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