Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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