Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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