"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize
