Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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