Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
