i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
We had sex on a dog bed..
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
