mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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