Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
