we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Randomize
