that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
