Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
