butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
