I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
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2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
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So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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