found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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