Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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