He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
