I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
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