I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Ketchup is God's man juice
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
