Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I just gargled with NyQuil
Randomize
